RP for renegadeinexile

[thecricketer]

The Doctor had his head beneath the console, a tool kit at his side, and his hands plunged in very delicate wiring.

He didn't need to make this repair, not strictly; the TARDIS ran well enough without it. But it would make reactions just a bit smoother, just a bit swifter - and besides, he felt he owed her some tender caring to anyway.

It certainly wasn't because he needed something to distract him while he waited.

He wasn't impatient, he decided as he pulled a thin silver rod from the ancient box; he'd given her as much time as she needed and he'd meant it. He just...well, he never was good at standing still, really, especially when there were nagging thoughts to run from.

So he worked, and was content, and sometimes he smiled. He already knew what their first real trip should be - he'd promised already, after all.

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[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

If there was anything the Rani was given to, it was not fretting.

So when she realised that that was what she was, in fact, doing within the confines of her new room, it left her at a loss.

Which made her fret more.

Which led to more feeling adrift.

Then more fretting.

And so on.

Perhaps these were just the normal sorts of nerves one had when one became fond of someone else, and was worried over doing the right thing, making a good impression, and so forth. But she'd more or less skipped over that part of her young life in favour of academics and grasping for power.

She paced her room for hours, unpacking this, adjusting that, resettling things over and over, until she could stall no longer.

As she walked down the corridor, the knot in her stomach began to untie itself, and she realised just what a bloody idiot she was being over this. It was fine.

By the time she arrived at the console room, she was already looking forward to seeing him again.

So when she didn't see him standing at the console, she was momentarily thrown for a loop. She frowned, brow creased, and blinked a few times in confusion. She was about to turn on her heel and start searching other rooms for him when she heard something behind the far side of the console.

She rounded it, and found him crouched beneath, prodding at an open panel. She cleared her throat softly, and smiled. "Hello."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

The Doctor, so focused on what he was doing, hadn't heard her come in. Naturally, he bumped his head on the underside of the console, before crawling out and gazing up at her with a sheepish sheepish smile.

"Ah, hello." He certainly didn't look irritated as he rose; on the contrary, he looked quite relieved, even as he rubbed his head.

"All settled in, then?"

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She frowned as he rose, not at him, but at the fact that he'd hit his head. She closed the distance between the two of them at once, and without thinking, her hand went to his head, fingertips running through his hair until she found the lump forming.

"I am, yes. Are you all right? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you," she said, rubbing his head gently.

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

He flushed a bit, naturally, but his smile widened as well, even as his shoulders tensed slightly. The concern was touching, and he wanted her to know he appreciated it.

"It's nothing. I should have been paying more attention."

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

"And I shouldn't go creeping up on people when they're busy with important things," she replied, ruefully, but with warmth. Her frown faded, then became a smile, mirroring his as she withdrew her hand. "As long as you're all right."

She glanced at the open panel. "Everything all right there?"

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

"Oh, it...wasn't very important, really." His smile was, he hoped, reassuring, despite his feeling a tad unbalanced.

"Everything essential works perfectly well." More or less.

"We could be off at any time."

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She was reassured by that smile; it immediately put her at ease.

"That's good, then. So..."

A hand went to the console, fingertips tracing its lines gently.

"...was there anywhere in particular you wanted to be off to?"

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

"Ah, well..." His own fingers drummed absently, though gently, on the edge of the console.

"I did say I would take you to Miasmia Goria... There's no rush, of course," he added quickly.

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

"You did say that," she agreed. Her smile softened, took on more of a touched cast.

"And I'd like that very much. There's no rush, as you say... but if that's where you'd like to go, I'd be honoured to have you take me."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

"Well, there's no need to wait, either," he replied brightly, and with a grin he ducked beneath the console again; after his fingers glided along several wires he replaced the panel, seemingly satisfied. He was still smiling when he rose, hopeful and excited and, perhaps, rather nervous.

He considered for a moment, smile fading slightly, and, after a gentle pat to the console, said, "Would you like to set the coordinates? You're probably more familiar with them."

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She blinked, and then her cheeks coloured slightly as the honour he was granting her sank in. "Thank you," she murmured, rounding to the navigational input.

She hovered there for a few moments, almost as if working up the nerve to touch the controls. Then her hand reached down, fingertips dancing across the keys as she input the coordinates. "I haven't forgotten," she mused. "It's been two lifetimes since I was there, but I still know the way back."

Her gaze lifted, and met his. "It's been the closest thing I've had to a home planet since I left Gallifrey."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

He answered her gratitude with a soft smile, and watched silently as she set to work. It was very strange, and oddly pleasant.

Then she spoke, as his smile became tender, and then faded.

She couldn't return to Gallifrey.

His hand found hers, resting lightly over it, and he didn't speak of their lost world - the world he would lose, and he could do nothing to change it.

Instead, he said, softly, "That's what Earth has been for me." So she knew that, in some way, he understood.

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She realised, as his hand settled gently over hers, that this was the first time she'd been offered any understanding over what she'd lost--what they had lost.

Even his other self, in seeking absolution or forgiveness or whatever it was he'd sought at their last meeting--he'd merely offered up his own guilt, his own burden.

So the understanding of the idea of a second home--particularly now that their real home was lost to them--it caught her by surprise, and overwhelmed her for a moment before she could pull herself back together. She blinked rapidly to try to dismiss the tears that welled up in her eyes; once she was sure she wouldn't do something so stupid as to cry or have her voice crack, she lifted her gaze and spoke softly.

"I imagined it must be something like that, as much as you seemed to go there. I'd love to see that planet through your eyes sometime."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

Once more he waited, silent, as if he didn't notice what she was fighting to control. He knew, if it was him, that he wouldn't want anyone to see.

When he answered, though, his voice was very quiet, tender, and he squeezed her hand.

"We could visit London, one day. I'll show you what I see."

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She smiled gratefully, her eyes shining.

"I'd be honoured to have you show me."

Then she reached down and flipped the switch to set them in flight.

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

He smiled back as they faded from conventional Time and Space, a smooth transition this time.

"I'll look forward to it."

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She stood silently for a few moments, smiling at him. Then she stirred, lacing her fingers through his and giving his hand a soft squeeze. "It's been two lifetimes since I was there," she said. "They won't recognise me at all. New face, new body... new person."

She laughed softly. "I'm almost nervous about it. I don't know why."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps it's better that way," he said softly. "To see the world as yourself, rather than their ruler?"

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps it is. I never really saw the world as anything but their ruler... I didn't live there long before my marriage, and even then I lived in the palace."

Then she grinned, rueful and nostalgic at the same time. "When I left, I couldn't wait to get away. I didn't think I'd miss it so much."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

The Doctor smiled softly, nodded, and his gaze dropped to the console. It was now, of course, that he remembered what he liked about home. What he didn't want to fade into nothing but memories.

When he looked up, the melancholy had passed, and his voice was light.

"What time did you set the coordinates for?" How long after she left, was the real question.

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She realised what must have been behind his silence; much as he had allowed her moments to pass without hard scrutiny or judgement, she kept her attention on the console until he spoke, giving him what time and space she could.

She lifted her gaze to meet his, smiling faintly. "We'll get there about twenty years after I left."

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

He returned the smile, relief guiding the turn of his lips.

"How much do you suppose it's changed, in your absence?"

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She shook her head briefly. "I can't even imagine," she murmured.

A thought briefly flashed across her mind... meeting the Doctor again in his sixth incarnation. Being discovered stealing neurotransmitters from people on Earth to help the people of Miasmia Goria she'd turned into experimental subjects.

"...let's hope they're better off, mmm?"

[thecricketer.livejournal.com]

If he wanted to probe - and he rather did, really - this would be the time to do it. A number of questions sprang to his mind immediately, as they tended to do. He could ask any one of them.

"I'm sure they're getting on well enough." A pause, and then, at last, an inquiry he thought harmless.

"Was there anyone to take your place, when you left?"

[thisway-comes.livejournal.com]

She nodded slowly. "The Raja had a nephew. I handed the throne over to him when I abdicated. He was the closest surviving relative at the time, so according to law and custom, he should rightfully have had the throne. He was also rather a wise young man, so I felt no hesitation in doing so."

She studied him a moment, and then offered, as if trying to anticipate another question, "I ruled for nearly a century. I married the Raja when I was two hundred sixty-three, rather soon after both my first regeneration and my first exile."