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The hero is supposed to spare the villain.

That is how their story goes. Compassion to austerity, kindness to ferocity, mercy to cruelty.

They have their roles, they play their parts; the hero remembers how it ought to be.

Reunions of murder and manipulation, endangered friends and needless death, and they walk away licking their wounds, awaiting the next.

Intricate plans and reckless heroism, a war of wills and wit and wrath, selflessness against sadism, and they battle until one has given up or saved the other.

Swords flashing and tongues lashing, and it is not blood but passion that stains the memories red.

Agony dealt, vengeance gained, freedom bound; a play of loathing and kinship used to torture the spirit and stay the hand.

A saviour and a slayer, creation and destruction beautifully rendered, lives taken for gain and saved for nothing, and neither understands.

The warmth of hearts and the chill of hearts, beating in dissonance forevermore.

Yet now the villain burns, and the hero feels cold.

What is he now?
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Would you do it with me?
Heal the scars and change the stars
Would you do it for me?
Turn loose the heaven within


The idealist grasped the cynic's hands beneath the amber skies, eyes wide with dreams that defied decades, voice high with joyous anticipation. He wanted to change the world, and then he wanted to leave and change the universe.

"People just need help, sometimes, and we can give it to them! I'm tired of just watching, I won't do it, I won't just accept that they know what's best. I can't." The cynic smiled, and shook his head, and squeezed his friend's hands.

"You can't change Gallifrey alone." His voice was lower, tethered to reality, but something like hope glinted in his eyes, dying embers in a night breeze.

"We can," the other said fervently, softly, as he leaned forward. "Together, right? I know you don't like it either."

His companion looked unconvinced, but he didn't argue.

"And if…if it turns out we can't. If people are too stubborn, and don't want to open their eyes, then… Then we can just go."

I'd take you away
Castaway on a lonely day
Bosom for a teary cheek
My song can but borrow your grace


His words were met with a sort of bemused awe.

"You want us to be renegades?" The question earned a wide grin.

"Yeah. Why not? It would be fun." His eyes were the colour of alien skies, and they glinted like secret stars.

"Give those stuffy bastards something to talk about, anyway." The cynic threw his head back and laughed, just as the idealist knew he would.

"Give them a hearts attack, more like." His smile was cool, and his voice was warm.

"All right then, Thete. Let's run away together and heal the stars."

Come out, come out wherever you are
So lost in your sea
Give in, give in for my touch
For my taste for my lust


They lose each other before the day comes, and they are alone when they run.

The idealist flourishes, and the cynic breaks.

For a long time, the healer tries to put the pieces back together, no matter how it makes him bleed. He never forgets the boy who dreamt and fought and cried with him.

Sometimes he sees himself in the shards.

Ever felt a way with me?
Just once, that's all I need
Entwined in finding you one day


As the centuries pass, the search becomes futile. They are now the saviour and the killer, champions of life and death.

"It is enough that your champion is disarmed. As victor I beg you to be merciful!"

They cannot be reconciled. They both wonder, sometimes, if there is anything left between them but loss and bloodshed.

"You do not understand hatred as I understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else should I endure this pain?"

They still cannot kill each other permanently, or directly. Affection and admiration are twisted together with disgust and infuriation.

"A cosmos without the Doctor scarcely bears thinking about."

Ever felt a way without me?
My love, it lies so deep
Ever dream of me?


Everything has its time, and everything dies. Hope fades, strength yields, love decays.

"Doctor, help me! I'll give you anything in creation! Would you show no mercy to your own…"

The idealist watches the cynic burn to ashes that will forever stain his hands. Both of them die here.

Your beauty cascaded on me
In this white knight fantasy


He has done what is right, and failed his oldest friend. This, too, haunts him as he struggles towards new life.

"No, my dear Doctor, you must die. Die, Doctor. Die, Doctor!"

For a moment, he wonders if it is a fair request. The thought burns like everything else and as he dies he decides that no, one of them must go on.


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On a dying world, he watches a Lord of Time scream.

He is burning, and soon there will be no trace of him to mourn by the one man who would.

This man cannot move, cannot look away, cannot sort out the sensations twisting together in his mind to strangle his hearts. He wants none of them to be his reason, but he cannot deny them.

Vengeance.

It is justified.

He remember that first reunion of murder and manipulation, endangered friends and needless invasion. He remembers how it feels to have centuries of nightmares tear your mind a part. He remembers falling and breaking and trying to put the pieces back together, thwarted all the while.

He remembers Jo, endangered time and again to force him into compliance. He remembers Tegan, confronted with horrific, needless loss. He remembers Nyssa, a child of peace, watching as her planet fell to careless cruelty. He remembers Adric, younger still, callously bound and cruelly used.

(He has never approved of revenge.)

Vindication.

He has won.

It is a permanent victory, and he need never feel defeated again by his ancient rival. His taunts are ashes now, his villainy punished, his domination abolished with a bit of cleverness.

He is Master of nothing, and the Doctor will live on as he always has.

(They fought like brothers, once.)

Relief.

No one will be hurt by this man again.

No more people used and discarded without a thought. No more children turned into martyrs.

No more believers and warriors and leaders brought to their knees to the sound of his laughter.

No more screams and blood and shrunken corpses to quench a selfish thirst for life and power and vengeance.

(This is what he clings to.)

"Would you show no mercy…"

There doesn't seem to be room for it anymore.
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He considers himself a good king. Fair enough, but firm in his decisions; willing to shed blood but not enthusiastic to do so. And here comes a young, foolish man challenging his methods, his principles, his character - and he is rising to the bait, justifying himself to a common prisoner.

"You don't understand. You've never had to make hard choices, look into an old friend's eyes and know you had to kill him."

"Do you think so."

Even chained the man remains infuriatingly dignified, and, for the first time, he looks dangerous. The youth slipped from his features like a mask, innocence and idealism drawing back to lurk within the shadows of his eyes.

His voice is soft, and sad, and chilling.

"Yes." There is a game being played here, some subtle bid for freedom. The king wonders idly how often the man has been caged.

"I see." He turns his steady gaze on unfortunate steel, and the ancient metal seems almost to shrink from it.

"I suppose you would like to prove me wrong?" The king knows he should turn away, leave the frustrating stranger to his interrogators.

The man smiles thinly as he looks back. There is some humour in it, twisted beyond the point of laughter. It should look out of place on his soft features, and doesn't.

"Not particularly. Would you like me to?"

"Could you?" the king challenges, stepping closer. He's used to making captives flinch; he is past expecting this one to.

"Of course."

"Then I command you to do so."

Amusement gleams in the man's eyes, though his words are sombre, clear of derision - perhaps the closest he would ever come to sounding deferential.

"Place your hands on my temples. Your Majesty." The king stares at him dubiously for a moment, but acquiesces.

Calloused fingers brush cool, damp skin, and his gaze is held in an inexorable grip.

"Your mind, actually," the man says softly, and the world fades away.

He won't be able to describe the sensation later, except in vague, poetic terms - his spirit pressing into another's; his body falling away like

The senses are faint, as they often become with memory; emotion is master here, painting the walls red, turning the air sharp, filling his chest with the scent of fire.

He doesn't know what he's doing, but he knows that it is simple, and clever, and will end a long life.

Time flashes. All the room becomes a blur but for one figure. He is disappointment hatred grief betrayal remorse fury regret, screaming, always screaming inside.

He watches. The man who is friend enemy lover killer brother foil burns until there is nothing left and he is silent through it all.

Would you have no mercy?

When the king is himself once more his eyes burn with the clarity of vision, his head is raw and barren, his breath heaves through glass soaked with stolen blood. His hands are trembling.

The man is watching him, that same tremor echoed in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Soon after, he is banished from the kingdom.

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The Doctor | Doctor Who

April 2013

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