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thecricketerOn a dying world, he watches a Lord of Time scream.
He is burning, and soon there will be no trace of him to mourn by the one man who would.
This man cannot move, cannot look away, cannot sort out the sensations twisting together in his mind to strangle his hearts. He wants none of them to be his reason, but he cannot deny them.
Vengeance.
It is justified.
He remember that first reunion of murder and manipulation, endangered friends and needless invasion. He remembers how it feels to have centuries of nightmares tear your mind a part. He remembers falling and breaking and trying to put the pieces back together, thwarted all the while.
He remembers Jo, endangered time and again to force him into compliance. He remembers Tegan, confronted with horrific, needless loss. He remembers Nyssa, a child of peace, watching as her planet fell to careless cruelty. He remembers Adric, younger still, callously bound and cruelly used.
(He has never approved of revenge.)
Vindication.
He has won.
It is a permanent victory, and he need never feel defeated again by his ancient rival. His taunts are ashes now, his villainy punished, his domination abolished with a bit of cleverness.
He is Master of nothing, and the Doctor will live on as he always has.
(They fought like brothers, once.)
Relief.
No one will be hurt by this man again.
No more people used and discarded without a thought. No more children turned into martyrs.
No more believers and warriors and leaders brought to their knees to the sound of his laughter.
No more screams and blood and shrunken corpses to quench a selfish thirst for life and power and vengeance.
(This is what he clings to.)
"Would you show no mercy…"
There doesn't seem to be room for it anymore.
He is burning, and soon there will be no trace of him to mourn by the one man who would.
This man cannot move, cannot look away, cannot sort out the sensations twisting together in his mind to strangle his hearts. He wants none of them to be his reason, but he cannot deny them.
Vengeance.
It is justified.
He remember that first reunion of murder and manipulation, endangered friends and needless invasion. He remembers how it feels to have centuries of nightmares tear your mind a part. He remembers falling and breaking and trying to put the pieces back together, thwarted all the while.
He remembers Jo, endangered time and again to force him into compliance. He remembers Tegan, confronted with horrific, needless loss. He remembers Nyssa, a child of peace, watching as her planet fell to careless cruelty. He remembers Adric, younger still, callously bound and cruelly used.
(He has never approved of revenge.)
Vindication.
He has won.
It is a permanent victory, and he need never feel defeated again by his ancient rival. His taunts are ashes now, his villainy punished, his domination abolished with a bit of cleverness.
He is Master of nothing, and the Doctor will live on as he always has.
(They fought like brothers, once.)
Relief.
No one will be hurt by this man again.
No more people used and discarded without a thought. No more children turned into martyrs.
No more believers and warriors and leaders brought to their knees to the sound of his laughter.
No more screams and blood and shrunken corpses to quench a selfish thirst for life and power and vengeance.
(This is what he clings to.)
"Would you show no mercy…"
There doesn't seem to be room for it anymore.
