thecricketer | The Doctor and Nyssa

These logs are being carefully compiled by the keeper of the Doctor's mind. Here is the progression of their relationship in captured scenes. You will find cuteness, angst, confusion, compassion, anger, comfort, and more within.

March 30th, 2007

Nyssa is feeling rather replaced. For a moment the Doctor can't do much more than flail - inwardly - and babble.

Nyssa: *practices Trakenite serenity and just smiles a bit*

Doctor: *realises exactly how infuriating he is* Nyssa, please stop pretending
everything is all right, that's really my job.

Nyssa: Nothing is wrong though, Doctor.

Doctor: *sighs, paces a bit* If...anything at all is bothering you, then something is
wrong.

Nyssa: I'm not bothered, Doctor.

Doctor: You - but - listen - right. Right, of course you're not. You never are. Just
like me.

Nyssa: Doctor, it isn't in my nature to be bothered...

It's trivial and silly and I'm fine.

Doctor: *sharply* Your emotions are not trivial and silly.

Nyssa: They are when they conflict with your good. If you are happy it is absurd for me
to be upset.

Doctor: Nonsense. Your feelings matter just as much as mine.

Nyssa: I just...*a pause* I don't know, it had always been my place to be there for you
and talk you out of your moods and just...keep you grounded. I left, it's only
natural that someone else take the role.

Doctor: *crosses over to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder* That is not silly.
*sighs* You meant - mean - far more to me than that. You were a confidante,
yes, and advisor, but you were also my dear friend and that is utterly
irreplaceable.

Relationships are...unique. They cannot simply be interchanged.

Nyssa: No, maybe not. But it...hurts, a little. I'm afraid I don't think too highly of
Aislinn.

I'm sure she's lovely. *quickly* And I like her, I do. But she seems to expect things to move quickly
and it isn't reasonable.

Doctor: *blinks* I...she...well...they...

Nyssa: It's not over your tenth self. *seriously* It's that she comes to you with that and
it's all complicated and it's why I say it's silly!

Doctor: *takes a deep breath* I'm the one who asks. Who offers. Of course
it's...complicated and I probably shouldn't be involving myself really but...

Nyssa: I know. She's told me and it just...*would flail if it were like her to do so* I
don't know, Doctor.

Doctor: Neither do I, I suppose. I've never been...in a situation quite like this.
*weak smile*
I always am after new experiences...

Nyssa: *sets her forehead on his shoulder, a fair distance from him aside from that contact*

March 30, 2007

Later, they discuss emotions, and how to cope with them.

Nyssa: *blushy headturn*

Doctor: *flushes and stares at feet*

Nyssa: *<.<* I'm sorry.

Doctor: *head jerks up* Don't be! There's nothing to be sorry for. At all. I'm just horribly bad that this
sort of thing and that's hardly your fault.

Nyssa: What sort of thing is it? I didn't mean to bring it about and...

Doctor: This... *gesture vaguely* Emotions. Expressing them. With people.

Nyssa: I'm not so used to it either. I mean, not like this...

Doctor: Like this?

Nyssa: Well, before Melkur...or the Master, I suppose, all I ever knew was serenity and complacency.

Nyssa: I never became angry or jealous or uncertain or over-excited....

Doctor: *softly* I know. It's all very new still, isn't it. I'm sorry for...making it difficult for you.

Nyssa: No! Don't be.

Doctor: *blinks* All right?

Nyssa: It's...difficult, but it's not bad. And it's...not your fault.

Doctor: *looks quite relieved really* It's not. That's good. Very good. I wouldn't want...that is...good. Is
there anything I could do to...help?

Nyssa: Take care of yourself, please? I'm here now. You give so much, but you can only be a shoulder to lean
on so long without needing someone to support you.

Doctor: *eyes widen* I... *looks about to argue* All right.

But I am the elder here and...

Nyssa: Yes, perhaps. But I'm the steady one.

Doctor: I should be the steady one! *blinks* I'm not being very rational, am I?

Nyssa: Hardly. *grins*

Doctor: *finds himself grinning back, despite himself* Right then. I give you my word that I'll...try.

Nyssa: Wonderful. And if you don't I will force you. You take so much onto your shoulders, Doctor.

Doctor: *softly* Someone has to.

Nyssa: *quietly* What when the load becomes too heavy?

Doctor: I'll use my hands.

Nyssa: *wants to hug him, won't* You're a Time Lord, as strong as you are you have limits. And really I worry
that no one offers comfort to you when they seek it from you. *sigh*

Doctor: I've not reached them yet. *quietly* They try. I'm afraid I'm rather stubborn about accepting it.

Nyssa: *pulls him in for a loose hug, reserved and at the elbows*

Doctor: *stiffens at first before returning the embrace, grateful* You have to promise me something as well.

Nyssa: Tell me?

Doctor: *pulls back to look into her eyes* Always tell me if there's something troubling you. Anything at all.

Nyssa: *moves to touch his cheek and gives him a soft look* If it will put you at ease.

Doctor: *smiles tenderly down at her* It will. Consider it a deal - if I share my burdens, you do as well.

Nyssa: I'm afraid my burdens are less than yours. *affectionate smile*

Doctor: *smile widens, softens* That's all very subjective, you know.

Nyssa: Mm. Trakenites are very adept at managing to keep their balance of serenity.

A bit harder without the Keeper or the planet there though, I'm afraid.

Doctor: *quietly* Allow me to step in? Not that they could ever be replaced, of course, but...

Nyssa: You've done so, Doctor. I've allowed you closer than I even allowed Tegan.

Doctor: *sincerely* I'm honoured, Nyssa. I only hope to resume doing so.

Nyssa: I missed you.

Doctor: And I you. *soft smile* I suppose we'll have to make up for lost time.

Nyssa: *grins* Years of it. *pause* Will your new companions mind me?

They're not here apparently but if they arrived...

Doctor: Oh, I shouldn't think so. It would be a change of course but... Well, they're both quite used to that.
I imagine you'd get on quite well with Erimem and Peri...is friendly. She...reminds me a bit of Tegan
sometimes. *amused smile* Usually when she's shouting at me.

Nyssa: When did Tegan leave?

Doctor: *smile fades abruptly* Some...some time ago. I couldn't measure the exact amount of course but...

Nyssa: I'm sorry. *quickly and holds him a tad closer* *and forcibly bright* We've things to see yet out
there. *nods skywards*

Doctor: Don't be. *allows it instinctively, gently tightening his arms around her* We do! Infinite wonders and
surprises.

Nyssa: *grins* I can't wait.

Doctor: *lips curve so slowly until he's beaming* Nor can I.

March 31, 2007

The Doctor and Nyssa try to understand their situation.

Doctor: *small smile as he shakes his head* This is all very confusing.

Nyssa: It is...I'm sorry to add myself to it all...

Doctor: Nyssa, I could never be sorry that I have the opportunity to see you again. Please do not apologise
for giving me that.

Nyssa: No, but I've gone and gotten your emotions in a spin...

Doctor: It's worth it.

Nyssa: *sets her head on his shoulder* Is it? The pain, the confusion...

Doctor: *tentatively wraps his arm around her* *softly* For you...yes. There is no question at all.

Nyssa: But what of me? *quietly* You have Aislinn. And Sarah Jane. I'm just one more...

Doctor: *with gentle ferocity* You are not 'just' anything. I have cared for you for a very long time. I had -
I had Tegan and...and Adric as well, but those relationships were different. No more or less
important.

Nyssa: And I'm more important you are trying to say?

Doctor: No - you - that is - *inward flailing* You are all important.

Nyssa: *watches him*

Doctor: *looks quite desperate and lost* I told you I was bad at this.

Nyssa: *takes a breath and kisses each of his cheeks*

Doctor: *blinks* *stutters* I - well. That - well. Ah. *gazes at her, face burning*

Nyssa: Don't try if you don't want to. Just...know where I stand.

Doctor: I - It's not that I don't... *softly* I don't ever want to hurt you, Nyssa, and that's probably what I'd end up doing.

Nyssa: I've been hurt before, Doctor.

Doctor: I know you have, and I'd really rather it not happen again. At least not because of me.

Nyssa: There comes a point where it is my choice, Doctor.

Doctor: Well, yes, but - I'm the elder, I'm responsible for my friends, all of you, I can't just...

Nyssa: *juts her chin out, seriously* You can't always take responsibility.

Doctor: Why not?

Nyssa: Because the heart makes its own decisions.

Doctor: It's the mind's responsibility to decide whether action would do more harm than good.

Nyssa: There comes a point where it doesn't matter.

Doctor: It always matters.

Nyssa: *serious look* Perhaps you should tell that to your tenth self then.

Doctor: ...Well.

Nyssa: *looks away, lips pursed and a little embarrassed at her boldness*

Doctor: *looks the other way, speaking evenly, almost coldly* I should not interfere anymore than I already am
- and now that it's begun trying to end it would simply hurt everyone involved.

Nyssa: They are different. *looks up and then to him* You could be happy.

Doctor: *slowly meets her eyes* I am, by and large.

Nyssa: *steps closer to him and rests her forehead on his shoulder, moving her arms about him for quick
contact and quiet obedience*

March 31

Their day has taken a lighter turn.

Doctor: ...Elderly Time Lords are not supposed to be cute.

Nyssa: Oh, but you're adorable. *teases*

Doctor: No, Nyssa, you are. You're simply getting confused.

Nyssa: No, you're adorable. *amused*

Doctor: *raises his eyebrows, humour sparkling in his eyes* Really, Nyssa, you are.

Nyssa: *grins* Adorable. Not sure I've been called adorable.

Doctor: *grins back* I couldn't think why, it suits you very well.

Nyssa: *grins* Well. I've heard "sweet" and "cute" and "charming"...

Doctor: All wonderfully accurate.

Nyssa: The same words could be descriptive of you.

Doctor: *eyes bright with gratitude* Peas in a pod, then, are we?

Nyssa: Quite. *grins, deviously* You don't know how much I've missed you.

Doctor: Oh? Quite a lot, if it's equal to how much I've missed you.

Nyssa: *hug and grin* Have I missed too many adventures?

Doctor: *returns her embrace, smiling almost gleefully* I'll tell you all about them?

Nyssa: Please? *moves from him and twirls* We'll have to collect new adventures too!

Nyssa: Where should we go, hm? *nods skywards*

Doctor: *beams* We shall. *lets his gaze drift upward* I could set the coordinates randomly, if you'd like.
See where we end up.

Nyssa: Let's. *grins at him brightly and moves back into his arms*

Doctor: *embraces her, grinning back* Just like old times.

Nyssa: *laughs* I can't wait.

Doctor: Neither can I.

Nyssa: *delighted, adorable look*

To Be Continued...

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